It sounds super scary to be being an outsider! You are not from here, You don’t look like us! You are an outsider. Go your home!
Yeah, it’s super challenging to be an outsider, especially if it is not a welcoming environment. But the outsider mindset is crazy to open for figuring out the problems and find a way to survive. The more you repeat this exercise (that’s something for your entire life. Such as a Japanese guy who lives in Italy) more your skin gets thicker.