As you guys might figure out I like “Why?” question more than What, When or Who

In these corona days, we are all bored and ask ourselves Why is that matter? Why am I doing what I am doing? etc.

Let’s start another “Why” today.

Why do you need a friend?

You might going to say “Because you need another human being as a friend to share moments, joy, sadness, etc. If you don’t have those friends you might replace with them your pets, books, food, running …

Let’s say we all agree that. We need a friend. Where do you going to find them?

People most of the time no need a “new friend”. They are already fine with their high school, college, cousins, or work friends. If you are not their those circles, what makes you think that they will be interested in you. (Think about someone is moving your city or neighborhood, you have almost zero interest to make a new friend unless you are as desperate as newcomers:)

If you are living the place which is not your home or college town, You are technically screwed. Your chance is pretty much limited. Like going to your favorite shop and try to buy great shoes for you but all they left a couple of options for your size. Either take it or leave it.

Are you amateur or professional what are you doing for a living?

Let’s say you are pro at work. How about other fields? For relationships with others, listening to your coworkers, being a manager, sales rep, etc.

I think the biggest difference between Amateurs vs Professionals is “mindset”. Pros are always thinking where we can iterate and make it better. On the contrary, Amateurs have a mindset “I’m done, I am accomplished”. Pros are building the system. Amateurs are goal-oriented.

Be make sure who is around you? Are they a bunch of “self-claimed pros which are nothing more than amateurs or true professionals?

I just heard that one of my closest friends from SF is moving out to Texas. He is not sure is he going to like it or not. But wanna try at least. The reason people live big cities like NYC, LA or SF is having a vibrant life and cool vibe. If you don’t have those, you better move some place at least offer you affordable housing and bigger spot. That’s what happening. As I said on yesterday, people are who can be mobile or able to try, they will definitely to try it out

I always think why people are living in this street instead of another one within the same neighborhood since I was a kid. I loved to walk part of the town (Born & Raised -Cankaya, Ankara) and trying to understand why they built this house like this or what kind of people are living in each part of the town. Later on, I figured each neighborhood has unwritten rules, demography, and type of people.

Anyway, our next-door neighbor who has been living I think over 30+years in the same house decided to move to Los Angeles Orange County. I asked him why are you moving after that long time? I always think about why people move? What’s their motivation?

I found 3 biggest reasons: Family, Employment, and Housing.

US Last 20 Years Data

Richard Florida identified Americans into the three mobility classes in his book Who’s Your City: “the mobile” who have the means, education, and capability to move to spaces of opportunity; “the stuck” who lack the resources to relocate; and “the rooted” who have the resources to move, but prefer to stay where they are.

It is easy to fool yourself. That’s why they say “ Don’t believe your thinking easily”. I think we need to feed ourselves history, psychology, physiology, mathematics, engineering, biology, physics, chemistry, statistics, economics, and so on. More we can learn from the ecosystem of knowledge, more chance to apply different mental models.

There is no golden ticket for any sort of success. It is always hard work, grid, patience, and luck. There is no short cut. Don’t look at how can I make it happen less time than others.

Even if some people look like they have a golden ticket, you don’t know their internal up and downs, what was their background, who was with when they started, etc.

The best golden ticket is YOU. Yeah, invest yourself. Learn new things every day. Go for a walk, do exercise, eat better food, get rid of bad energy people, etc.

I think the best thing ever you can do yourself, talk to yourself. While you are doing self-talk: Be patient, understand your worries, and motive yourself.

Self-talk is healthy, I always do. I think my confidence in myself comes from my self-talk.

When you know the basic principles of building, launching, producing, or publishing. It is easy for you to keep doing this until the last day of the earth. If you never ever done it something I listed, you might think “Wow, How and Where can I start?

That’s alright. I always scared to start to the company (It took me 26 years to start my startup in Silicon Valley age of 26:). Later on, what I learned, the scary part is not the building a product or launching a new idea, It was paperwork, details, etc (still don’t like them anyway). Sometimes your mind was so busy with those unnecessary things so you could not move your finger.

Days are passing so fast, Like it or not. You still didn’t figure out what you want to do right?

Find something that you are enjoying. It is like something you don’t check your watch every 10-15 minutes. Something you feel you are in the flow. You are in the zone. Nothing takes it from there. I hope something also brings you wealth, fame, and friends. But, not need to chase it. All you are doing because you like that feeling.

Don’t carry the time with you. Time should carry YOU

You need to blend yourself with other cultures, values, and norms. Why?

Because you need others. When you are growing up mono-culture countries. You always think you are the best in everything. So, you don’t know anything except yourself. And thinking the rest of the world is against you. That’s why you have to protect your old values. (very ill thinking)

You can’t be the best everything. Blend yourself. You will surprise how amazing will be new recipes.